Hello,

My name is Orla – and amongst other things, I am told that I am a good listener! – and you are very welcome to this unique service that has grown rapidly over the last few years - purely through word of mouth. So, it seems someone is listening!

There’s a saying that goes:

People don’t want a good talking to:
what they really want is a good listening to.

In other words: People want a good listener!

With the help of friends and family – those who have encouraged me to broaden my scope and provide this service wherever it is wanted – I am now making it available to anyone who likes the sound of having a friend who's an excellent listener and the end of the telephone line.

Most people, when hearing about this unique and useful service, ask what is it? how does it work? and why would I use this service? You will find the answers to each of these questions in this section of this site, but before you read those pages, may I kindly suggest that you go to the Benefits page first with a view to saving your time because you may discover that you already have it covered to your satisfaction. And if you have, fair play to you! You're one of the few.

However, should you choose to find out more, what better way than to experience the service for yourself? You are welcome to arrange a 20 minute ‘tyre-kicking’ call gratis - with a view to getting a feel for whether this service would be of value to you.

So, with both ears open, I look forward to hearing from you!

Namaste

Your friend,

Orla

‘Speak up – be understood!’

The Phone-Friend service lets you speak over the telephone with a highly experienced ‘listener’ in a way tailored to your specific needs.

If you’ve ever had the good fortune to have had a good listening to, you don’t need to be reminded of all the reasons why a person would want to really be heard and accepted. If you haven't, it's an experience that isn't easy to explain. Just watch two people have a conversation and what you’ll mainly see is how badly each wants to be listened to (understood, ‘got’)… so badly that they will often talk over each other, oblivious to what the other is saying!

And so often the very people you might think would be the one’s to give you an open ear (coupled with a closed mouth) – friends, family – are often the very one’s who simply WILL NOT LISTEN! Perhaps you’ve experienced this for yourself:

It’s easier to speak openly and honestly with a complete stranger
than it is to speak with someone who thinks they know who you are.

If you don't believe this, try it for yourself. People do lots of things – sometimes crazy things – to get a feeling of being listened to, including:

• Go to pubs / bars / clubs and speak to strangers / bartenders / waiting staff trying to be heard above the loud music
• Call phone lines (usually spending over €2.50 a minute - that's more than €180 per hour!) to talk to people claiming to be psychics, ambassadors for angels, tarot-card readers and fortune-tellers)
• Attempt to have a meaningful conversation with the dentist as he works in his/her mouth
• Talk to the hairdresser
• Write letters to the newspaper
• Join internet chat-rooms / Facebook / Bebo / MySpace
• Blackberry, blog, email, text and twitter!

And it seems that the more gadgets / gizmos / gimmicks we use the less able we are to communicate effectively – in a meaningful and satisfying way… and the less we feel heard or understood. When you use the Good Listener service, you get to say what you want, the way you want… you get that feeling we all want (overtly or covertly):

to be listened to without prejudice or judgement –
with empathy and understanding.

Amongst the seemingly endless ocean of problems and disasters we face in the world today, our declining ability to listen is one of the worst. Why? Because it leads to ineffective communication and then the frustration that builds when you feel you’re not listened to or understood… and that can lead to a feeling of isolation, sadness,
and depression.

Of course, there are times when you feel so happy about something and you just want someone with whom you can share your feelings .

Some wit once said that a lot of the trouble in the world is caused by unhappy people. Perhaps. And perhaps a lot of it is caused by people who feel misunderstood, unaccepted, alienated.

After sounding out the information (and perhaps hearing what other say when you read the testimonials), should you decide that you would like to avail of this service,
get in touch and we will arrange a ‘tyre-kicking’ session where you and Orla can chat for twenty minutes with a view to tailoring the service to your own specific needs should you choose to use it.

If you feel that you want to continue with the service at the end of your first free call, Orla will arrange to email you the details, including price(s) and times, etc.

“Mother Nature gave us one mouth and two ears to use in that proportion.
Looks like most people missed that memo!”
- The Relationship Doctor

Why would you or anyone else consider using this service? If you can’t honestly say any of the following – or if you already have it covered to your satisfaction, then this service would almost definitely be of no value to you. So, why not say these to yourself - internally if there are others around! =0) – and see if any resonate with you…

“I would like to speak with someone who…

• … doesn’t already think they know everything about me 
  
• … is interested in me and what I have to say 
  
• … is objective, respectful and non-judgemental 
  
• … is not a therapist (psychiatrist, counsellor, analyst, etc.) 
  
• … is not pushing a product (way of life, company, religion, etc.) 
  
• … will ‘get’ me and accept the validity of my experience for me 
  
• … seeks to understand ‘with’ me, not ‘about’ me 
  
• … clarifies with clean questions instead of jumping to conclusions 
  
• … can help me find the right solutions to my own unique problems 
  
• … I can have a heart to heart with 
  
• … helps me see the wood for the trees 
  
• … I can have a good laugh with 
  
• … helps me understand myself better 
  
• … I can get stuff off my chest with 
  
• … will treat me like a valued, worthwhile human-being

If you feel that you could use this service and have not read anything in the above list that speaks directly to you, please call or write and let me know and I promise to get back to you as quickly as I can. - Orla

What does it mean exactly to be listened to? Here are some ingredients:

• The other person shows you by their behaviour that they accept the validity of your experience for you 
  
• They tend to ‘synch-up’ with you, ‘get’ you, ‘click’ with you – you feel as though you are both on the same wavelength…
   
• They seek to understand ‘with’ you, not ‘about’ you 
  
• They clarify instead of jumping to conclusions 
  
• They are interested in you and what you have to say 
  
• They do not judge you 
  
• They empathise  
• They are not pushing some hidden agenda

Questions worth considering before you decide to arrange your first free twenty minute call ~

• Do you value being listened to and understood? 
  
• Do you think you have ever really been listened to in the manner we’re discussing? 
  
• If so, when was the last time?

• If you can remember the last time… can you remember the feeling(s) you had as a result? 
  
• Would it be of value to have those feelings again? For what purpose?

Unfortunately, most people, if honest, cannot remember when the last time was… or if there was a last time.

More than ever ‘listening’ is an endangered art form and it is rare to find someone who does it excellently. For the few who can do it, to some it comes naturally, to others it has to be learned. And the good news is: it can be learned. How? Well, one way is to experience for yourself what it is like to speak with someone who knows how to listen to you the way you want to be listened to and you'll hear the difference for yourself.

Brilliant! Finally a service that charges fairly and actually delivers on its promise!
- Mary, USA

I used to spend a small fortune on phone lines like Tarot, Pscychic, Angels and the like… now I just speak and listen to one person: Orla – she is a real angel! I have never felt so validated and valued in my life. I’m now getting what I really need – the human touch… and I’m saving a small fortune! 
- Dymphna, Cork, Ireland

What’s it worth to be really listened to, understood and not judged? Priceless!
- Robert, London, UK

"I thought this was the biggest pile of p*&h I’d ever heard, until, to prove myself right, I experienced the first free call. I can happily say that I was wrong… that this is wonderful and necessary… and that I had no idea that I had never really been listened to – ever – before that call. I look forward to speaking with Orla every other day! 
- Pat, Dublin, Ireland